Bought a new Bike

Yeaah,


I bought a new bike, APACHE RTR 180, front and back disk breaks, full compression.

I like to pray to my father... now,

O heavenly father, help me to deal with issues that i been dealing.

Asking in the name of jesus.

Amen.

Back in the bussines

Loosing my dad, is one the most memorable moments of all. It is said so truely by the great grand fathers that. You only know the person's Value , when they are unavailable. Well im learning it the hard way.

Now i have to stop greeving at some point and get on with life.

So now is the time time start.

I m contemplating on buying a bike.

Lets hope that i get it done.

unworthy

O lord you called me when i m in deep sin. I see myself farway from you, yet you calling me to serve you, and you gave me the burden of my father and grand fathers. Lord I have not know anything to teach to your folks, for I m a sinner. Unworthy of any kindness or love. yet you calling me to serve is a great burden on my shoulder. How can i lead a life of purity and when i m in darkness. I see only darkness all around me. Your light on my face and calling me to climb the ladder. But O lord, I still love this sinful life, how can I stay faithful, I be a heartbreaker my lord. I m unworthy, unworthy. I have broken your heart, broken my promises that i have made with you, i been unfaithful in keeping your commandments, My lord, i wanted to say wrong choice to you, but I can't say that coz you know what you are doing unlike we humans. Help, help me my father coz i m a sinner.
Please re-consider, coz my ways are worldy, I m still after money and richness, I still love this world. I have no desire to preach to people. I have speak in my eye, how can i find or preach to other's. Hear me lord for I m a sinner and you know my deeds, there is nothing hidden before your eyes. I do not wish to say i don't want to serve you. Yes i want to serve you, But i be that heart breaker, that lier, that unfaithful servent, that disobidient son, that waste life, that looser , in whom there is no progress. Its a waste of time and money. I m a waste on this earth. I m a selfish person, I have known only selifness, I m so unfiting to serve you my Lord. I m more that disqualified. I m hypocryte, I m deciever, I tend and make people mend to my ways and get my things that , I m a manipulator. My father. I m so unworthy. To serve a truthful and pure God like you.

O heaven fall up on me, I sure know My place is in hell, coz my ways leadth me to HELL. I m a disgrace to my father in heaven, I m a disgrace to my DAD, I m disgrace to my mother. I love this world, I m so stuck up with all kinds of fantasy, I can't lead people, I m more stubourn and hard headed. I listen to none, I rebel, I reveal, I keep no secreat, I make mockery of people, i m very very bad person. O father some people dream to have the things I have, yet my heart still not turning to your ways. O father I have known your power, I know how you speak to me, I been in a good realtionship with you, but Now i m move away.
I m moved on. I need you, But i can't serve you. I wanted to serve you but I m not that proper person to teach these floks.

O heavenly father pleaser reconsider. Asking in the name of jesus Christ.

Alive and kicking

Well I m leaving to Hyderabad on Monday 14th july 2008. It going to be my 8th trip(4 trips up and down) to hyderabad. thats 305 x 8 = 2440 Kilometer ride. An offical record of my own. Been to Rajamundry for the 4th time(2 trips up and down) i.e., 275 x 4 = 1100 Kilometers. Went to Narsapoor Thrice i.e, 175 x 3 = 525 Kilometers. Yahooo.......

Its officially 2440+1100+525 = 3075 Kilometer Bike ride and counting. Wish to take a long trip around the State first then the South India and then on and on. On my Bike. I m thiking to Sell this baby My ap 16 s 5620 suzuki samurai of 2002 model. But i m too attachted to it. Listens to me. If fills me. But What can I say, I got to let it go . The first bike I owned from March 2006 to till date. This baby listens to me like a little gal. I wish it gives me more milage. So that I dont need to sell. If it can give me like 60 Kilometer per liter. I won't need to sell it. But I m no Bike mechanic to make any alterations. A gas saving kit or tool. Which designed to save petrol. I don't know.

Now I feel like living, I have to buy Camera to get good pictures of the wonderful scenories that I get to see, When I ride. I got religion 2 years ago and I m too much dependant on god to take any of my own decisions, but stil sometimes the old habit kicks in and I take decisions of my own. Wish i could let god to do that for me. He is like friend to me, now in this betrayal and unbelieving period .I like to have him on my stride or my side. But hey I m alive, thanks to him that kep me alive. The one and only Almighty yahweh, through his son we have our grace.

God bless you all,

Love
Anand,
The Biker.

Failed Miserably

Out of Anguish, I write. I have failed miserably. I have failed myself, I have failed that had faith in me. I have failed my father in heaven. My father do you have place for failures, do you love looser like me. Would it be Okay if I sin again, says my heart. It urges, and seeks sinful desires and lust is all over my face and my brain. I can't think no more. My words are bitter, my sentences are inhuman. It takes me forever to think normal with out sex. I have lost in the pool of online romance and virtual sex. Now i m sinning in my heart and mind. I have no guilt, I have no feeling, I have no relationship, all I do is incest plays. O dear father, where do I find rescue . How can I save myself from this terrible wrath , which I brought upon myself. My dear loving father. I didn't realize. that i m digging my own pit. I have fallen into the world of sin, I have yet again failed miserably. Where do I find my rescue. I am ashamed to go back to my father and say father I have sinned please forgive me. Why am I like this, Why can't I just stop sinning and be good. Is it human to commit sins or is it just me that is so perverted and destroyed inside. that there is not act of kindness or humanity in me. I can't think anymore but sex. Whats wrong with me, But why I m being right all the. O father can you solve this dilemma for me.

I have failed you and i know how it feels to have your presence, I know how it feels to have you speaking in my ears. I know you, I know you. How can i say I not know I know you, i know your ways. O lord I have failed, i have failed, how can i correct myself and stand again. I have failed I have failed, lost in the wilderness of eroticisms. Everything is erotic to me, Even the least creatures look lustful to me. I am out of control. Where can I find rescue.

I have failed miserably. I need help, O father in heaven, send down thy angel and kill me. For I would not wish to live , this life any more. Can't sin anymore. Strike me father and kill me. I just have one last request I would accept all mysins and accept your son Jesus as my Saviour and then kill then I would be in heaven, coz i can't find any other way at all.
Please send rescue.

Amen

Need resuce

I m addicted, I need help. It can't be from humans, it has to be divine intervention. I have lost my 10 year of life, I have spent my time doing nothing but chatting on the internet. O my wasted years, where are you thee, Thou is lost forever. I did not realize how important you are. Now I m crying like a baby, what happened to my 10 years, what have I achieved. I have mastered the roleplays but what good they can bring into my life. I have lost it and loosing it again. I can't go back to god , due to this addiction coz i know I will fall again and I do not wish to frustrate God again by my actions. It better to wait and loose my addictions and go back to him. Coz all I wanted in my life is to serve him in a better way. Now the opportunity lies on paper, I need 4000$ to pick it and go to bible college in jackville. Who is going to give me money. Only father God can do that. No man can help me here, and i m not good at impression the lord, I have failed terribly. I failed him, failed myself and I lost my own self. I came to the lord for wrong reasons, Now I m asking him to save my soul from this pit, I hope that he would send resume and I would be saved, I wish that god wont close my eyes or blind me to see the opportunity and take rescue. Oh father send help, send me jackville and send me the outer ends of the world where is not good word. Help me work hard and help me live a simple life.
In the name of Jesus, I ask. Amen